The Case Howard Christmas theme this year is “A Christmas Masquerade” and, as always, the whole house has been transformed. Designers Charlotte Lloyd Webber and Bretta Gerecke have showered the house in colour and light to create another year of striking imagery and spectacular installations to enjoy as you make your way through the iconic building. The Christmas Masquerade theme has empowered the team to be bold with colours and create a very different experience to that of previous years; don’t assume that you’ll see the same thing as last year if you’ve been before. If you think there’re more pictures of me than usual on this page. that’s to avoid spoiling the experience when you arrive.

The aim is to provide a tangible sense of walking through a Venetian Masquerade Ball, something that is produced without the sense of losing the huge personality of Castle Howard itself. As you circulate, you see the theme reflected in the palate used and masks adorning a number of the statues throughout the experience.

As unmissable as ever is the 26ft tall Christmas tree that is dressed with three and a half THOUSAND baubles. I suspect this will be in the background of a similar number of selfies by the time all this is taken down. Despite that headline grabbing bauble count, I felt that the most memorable part of the experience was found in The Long Gallery. This room is bisected by a canal complete with bridges that Baby Fork demanded we cross many, many times. Thankfully there was enough to see in the background to temper the repetition of movement.

The team at Castle Howard have again done a fantastic job. The amount of thought and effort that’s gone into this transformation is easy to see. The opportunity to append it with an Afternoon Tea or a trip to Santa depending on the visitor’s age and leanings only broadens the appeal. We’ll be back soon to take Baby Fork’s grannies around, something that we’ll be bound to repeat in the coming years.

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Castle Howard has been a favourite spot to visit for a good fifteen years, offering an unparalleled combination of outdoor space to explore with a stunning building for a backdrop. The grounds feature a great range of landmarks including fountains, temples and follies to take in along with an adventure play ground that has recently been taken to an entirely new level.

Skelf Island has just opened (conveniently timed for the summer holiday) near to the existing playground and really ups the game. Accessed via an elevated rope bridge (or a lower level walkway for the less adventurous), the new development that brings Skelf Island into use for the public is truly impressive, bringing together a great variety of tunnels, slides and bridges along with loads of opportunity to climb and scramble around. The zip wire is bound to prove popular too.

We already have plans for another trip to Castle Howard next month, and I don’t doubt that there will be many more, which will feature trips across the water to Skelf Island with increasing frequency.

Disclaimer: No charge was made for our attendance. Not that Baby Fork is open to influence anyway

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As I’ve posted about previously, we chose Amsterdam as the destination for Baby Fork’s first trip abroad. It seemed to offer a decent combination of a short flight time, good public transport and all the convenience a major European city can offer to cope with any unforeseen situations.

I can’t really imagine doing a hotel with a baby this age (16 months). Surely a successful bed time routine with a baby in a hotel room just results in a few silent hours trapped in said room trying not to disturb the baby? With that in mind, we booked an Airbnb a short train ride from the city centre that looked to offer the right balance of amenity and price.

We began our trip by driving to Leeds-Bradford airport where we’d stumped up for parking a short walk from the terminal to ensure maximum convenience, particularly on the return leg when we were unsure how well Baby Fork would have coped with the flight. This was more costly than the shuttle bus service we would normally plump for, but was worthwhile for the removal of a potential point of failure.

Security was relatively painless and the staff were perfectly helpful. This was when we started to appreciate the convenience of the Pockit stroller that we’d picked up from some friends, fresh returned from a trip to Sri Lanka. Being able to fold this into an improbably small package before reconstituting airside was a great advantage and much more preferable to having to check the pushchair into baggage.

Once airside, Baby Fork started to do laps of the area, an occupation complicated by the typically stag- and hen-heavy atmosphere. This isn’t something that’s particularly bothered me before, but seems to have taken an even stronger foothold since I last flew. While it never felt threatening, I was surprised to see people merrily strolling (stumbling in some cases) around the terminal with glasses in their hands outside of the bar areas that one assumes are licensed.

The flight itself was relatively uneventful, Baby Fork taking it in her stride as long as we occupied her, though becoming a touch agitated at the landing. It was a few hours later that we encountered the most significant issue of our trip when we missed a connecting train and therefore missed the local supermarket, thus condemning us to 12 hours subsisting on crisps while attempting to sooth Baby Fork to sleep with the random small bottle of formula we’d stuck in a bag as a contingency. We managed to get her to sleep just before midnight and in time to grab a few hours before setting about Amsterdam the following morning. More of that to follow in subsequent posts!

Regarding our luggage, we managed to follow our instincts for minimalism. You can see below the sum total of our packing, all of which went happily as hand luggage. Within this, we managed to cram enough nappies and wipes for the duration along with a good selection of baby food sachets to compensate for any shortfall upon arrival. Once situated, the range of food on offer in the supermarket was of course the equal of that on this island.

The next couple of days were spent buzzing back and forwards between Amsterdam Centraal and our apartment taking in as much as we could, though it must be said less than we would have fitted in as a couple due to fitting in the bedtime routine and pushchair logistics. After getting stocked up with appropriate groceries, our Airbnb turned out to be a very good base, further enhanced by the presence of a friendly house pest by the name of Furball who took every opportunity to dispense head bops and purrs.

The rest of our trip passed without incident and gave us plenty of things to think on when planning subsequent holidays. It was certainly challenging being in the centre of an unfamiliar city with a baby intent on running headlong into the path of every tram, bike, car and train, but we still managed to explore somewhere new to us and largely navigate the pitfalls of international travel with a small child.

While there was certainly a touch of heightened anxiety about the whole enterprise that might give us pause for thought about another similarly hectic few days in the near future, we can’t wait to show Baby Fork more of the world in due course…though we may take reins next time. Oh, one more lesson: flying with a baby after having both your arms tattooed four hours previously is both a literal and figurative pain. To be avoided if possible. Again, more of that later.

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The presence of a Booths supermarket is a great asset to any town, so we were more than happy to be staying a stone’s throw from the Keswick branch. We hit the reduced item aisle to grab a picnic dinner on the first evening of our flying visit, tucking into bread, cheese, crab terrine, quiche and sausage rolls. We didn’t linger long outside on our predinner stroll before retreating to the warmth of our cottage and its remarkably comfortable electrically reclining chairs that threatened to kidnap us each time they were engaged.

We spent the following morning mooching around Keswick and ignoring the “seasonal” weather to make the obligatory pilgrimage to Friar’s Crag and gaze out across Derwent Water at St Herbert’s Island, that was previously an inspiration for none other than Beatrix Potter. To refresh ourselves we went for lunch at one of my favourite spots in Keswick, The Square Orange, for tapas. While the patatas bravas could have done with both a broader, more subtle flavour, Morbier tartiflette was exactly as good as it sounds and baked Camembert is always a wonderful thing. We lightened the meal with artichokes wrapped in Parma ham, roasted padron peppers and a decent glass of wine before making our way to the Keswick Museum.

The museum offering in Keswick is undoubtedly lessened since the departures of the Cars of the Stars and James Bond Museums but with the Puzzling Place, Pencil Museum and Keswick museums still flying the flag there’re plenty of places to check out. The Keswick museum had a refurbishment a few years ago that’s made it much more contemporary in its design and layout but just as pleasingly eccentric in its exhibits, which include a dead cat in a box (really). I wish we’d had time to make it to the Pencil Museum, but Baby Fork will have to hold on a little longer for that pleasure next time we visit Keswick.

The following day arrived with a beautiful dusting of snow across Keswick in which a visitor to our front door had left some cute footprints. We set off with the intention of a low level stroll around Buttermere and a lack of realisation about how much more snow had settled out of town. The route to Buttermere would have taken us across the Honister Pass. This wasn’t the weather to be tackling one of the steepest roads in the country though, so we switched plan and headed back in the direction of Castlerigg stone circle, which is easily accessible by car if not necessarily pushchair.

We were looking forward to finishing the day with some pub grub so needed to work up an appetite and chose the old railway line as the most likely buggy friendly walk from town to do so. Having seen in the Keswick Museum pictures of the former railway station in use leant the beginning of our walk a nostalgic air and we were thankfully right in our assumption that it would be baby friendly. It only takes a mile or so on this route to find a boardwalk which gives great views over the river, an imposing concrete bridge, the remains of railway workings and some interesting information about a bobbin mill.

Dinner came from the Dog and Gun which while it maybe isn’t the picture of perfection – it is a few years since its refurbishment – is still a marvellous place to kill time and make friends with plenty of the town’s four legged residents. The goulash here is legendary so we plumped for one of those alongside a beef & ale pie, whose accompanying chips let the standard down a little. It’s easy to see why so many people choose this place to retire to after a day’s walking and let grateful strangers fuss their pets.

Our cottage had an early kick out time of 10am so we chose to begin our journey home with a brunch at The Rheged Centre. I’ve called here a bunch of times for a quick comfort break but I’ve never explored the site, which turns out to have been my loss. The grass roofed building is run by the same people as the fantastic Gloucester and Tebay services and is on the site of a former limestone quarry. A mini brunch for five pounds was great value and the ham hock under poached eggs and Hollandaise really brought life to the dish. There’s plenty here to enjoy on a day out including the cinema, soft play and shops.

We’ll be back to visit Keswick in due course to show Baby Fork more of the area when she’s old enough, but we’ll find an excuse to go back before she’s old enough to really appreciate it.

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The build up
We were determined to avoid overpopulating our house with garish plastic contraptions of debatable merit in the run up to the becoming Family Fork, the only issue with this approach being a continual nagging feeling that you might have missed something. The gaps in our approach were happily filled by more experienced mothers-in-law, preempting our need for changing mats, play mats, bath seats and so on. As we attained the closest state to readiness we could, we found the last couple of days before our booked induction entered us into a strange state of suspense. We were reduced to anxious waiting and grazing around some of our favourite food stalls before trying to get some sleep while we wondered what the following day would bring. One thing I did in preparation was cook a huge amount of food, forty portions if I recall, to freeze. Key learning from that one is to vary it, you can get very bored of three things very quickly.

Birth
When we were filling out the Family Fork birth plan, I remember seeing the question “What would you like to happen in the hour after the birth” and wondering what the appropriate response would be. Nip out for a pint? Grab a bite to eat to refuel? Catch up on an hour’s sleep? Sneaky bit of video gaming? It felt like a bit of a nonsense to try and presuppose what we’d feel at that time, given our lack of experience, but we went through the process anyway and made sure we had our overnight bag packed nice and early. As Mrs Fork is a geriatric mother (ie over 35, I’m not just calling her names) we were booked in for induction a couple of days after the due date, for which we arrived on time and I think inadvertently resulted in another couple being sent home to come again. Many apologies if that was you.

The wipe clean nature of fabrics used in hospitals made furniture in the induction suite impossibly noisy to sit on unless utterly still, so the 15 or so hours we spent in there didn’t mesh well with the elements of anxiety and sleep deprivation we’d already managed to bring to the party. We were grateful when things picked up pace and we could change up a gear to the delivery suite.

Mrs Fork’s approach to pain management was to take as many (prescribed) drugs as possible so an epidural was quickly installed and fired into action only for a relatively common complication to take place and her blood pressure drop dramatically, instantly dropping Foetus Fork’s heart rate by around 100bpm to 30bpm. It must be said that this was a particularly traumatising 60 seconds while a flotilla of medical professionals shoved a litre of fluid in a minute through the second canula that I facilitated the introduction of into my wife’s outstretched hand. Mrs Fork recounts being spookily calm at this point. I was not. Still, at least the epidural had been 100% successful on 50% of her body, so some pain management was in place. Things progressed smoothly from there and by 2am we’d met our waxy, gunky and adorable daughter. The wonderful midwife who helped us through the experience had by now figured out that I was happy to be involved as much as was practical and had me passing equipment, helping her gown up and steadying lights to help her through procedures. Never has the jargon picked up from too much time watching ER been so useful!

All this was taking place in February 2018, which you may recall was the time of an usual cold snap christened “The Beast From the East”. This meant that to get Baby Fork’s first set of clothes up to an acceptable temperature, I had to pull off walking around the delivery suite with them stuffed up my T shirt for half an hour while not looking like I was impersonating a pregnant woman. Not the best look in a labour ward! Another tip, and fairly obvious suggestion in retrospect, is to take a variety of snacks for both mum and dad. 12 hours subsisting on Tunnocks caramel bars wasn’t great. As far as food goes, while every meal served on the ward was almost enough to ensure further hospitalisation, the food served from the onsite restaurant (Ellerbys) was surprisingly good.

The early weeks
Once discharged and home, the real journey began. As a first time parent, it’s bound to be intimidating to be charged with the care of a newborn regardless of the midwife safety net on offer. It’s a peculiar combination of extreme sleep deprivation, tremendous amounts of new responsibility and the need to learn an awful lot all at once. We were lucky enough both to have made some good friends through NCT and have a couple of other friends also in the same position. That made an enormous difference and the WhatsApp groups were kept busy through many long nights. The huge majority of people I’ve spoken to since then have admitted just how challenging those first few weeks are. In retrospect, we feel like we coped ok and managed to make it out of the house regularly, but there’s little to compare to the tiredness that it’s normal to experience. Mrs Fork even found herself unable to figure out why the back door wasn’t shutting one day… turned out there was a cat trapped in it, thankfully uninjured and ready to be a lovable nuisance another day.

Back to work
Visitors to our house frequently comment on how there’s still a sense of order to the place and that adult feeling spaces can quickly be achieved. This is something that I’m quite proud of, but it’s constantly on a knife edge as it’s achieved by tackling every task the moment it becomes necessary. I’ve established that breaking that pattern for just 30 minutes or so starts things snowballing and domesticity quickly becoming overwhelmingly disorganised. This has become even more of a task since Mrs Fork (as the main wage earner) returned to work, compressing full time hours into four days. Nursery fees quickly add up, so we’ve settled into a fragmented but effective routine involving nursery, grandmothers and parents. The particular focus of each day inevitably moves to the evening, ensuring that I’ve got food ready to go as quickly as possible on Mrs Fork’s return to facilitate bath time and bed time in as timely a manner as possible so that we have at least a few minutes to ourselves.

Feeding and eating
Breastfeeding is such an emotive and nuanced subject, but it’s impossible to ignore in the context of this piece. Yes there’re clear, evidenced benefits for mother and baby, but it can be a terribly hard thing to do without proper support or even with the best-intentioned support. A few months before Baby Fork’s arrival, I offhandedly said to a midwife that I would get some formula in to make sure we had the option and was firmly told that I mustn’t do that as it would lead to us “taking the easy option”. Fast forward to the morning after Baby Fork’s homecoming and she was inconsolable so I asked the midwife to come sooner rather than later. Thankfully she was able to do so and quickly established that our baby had lost nearly 14% of her body weight, requiring urgent feeding before readmittance to hospital for a feeding tube. Having heeded the previous midwife’s unambiguous advice not to buy any formula, I was left to run to the local supermarket and buy some along with the bottles needed to offer it to baby. A short while later, we were back on a ward with a nasal tube fitted to our sad looking child and we were back home the following day with a clear plan of action. I’ve no desire to weigh into the breastfeeding debate, but I will say that such absolute instructions as we were given don’t serve anyone well. Neither does making new mothers feel guilty for their choices.

Where are we now?
How can it possibly be a year since all that took place? Life without our little wriggling cutey seems unimaginable. We’re getting a fairly sensible amount of sleep these days and have settled into a routine that, while occasionally tiring, seems to meet the majority of Family Fork needs. Free time is at a premium but reciprocal babysitting arrangements with friends have allowed us to make sure we continue having something of a social life. This first year has certainly had its tough moments, those first months in particular being testing, but we feel incredibly lucky to be parents to such a good natured, healthy child who enriches every day.

Family Fork has found a range of brilliant support networks in York over the last year and made some lovely friends while being lucky enough to enjoy a large part of maternity leave together. We’ve found welcoming places for coffee and brunching, both old and new, and been welcomed to all manner of eating and drinking establishments. It goes without saying that I love York and I’m really excited about the prospect of bringing up a child here and finding new corners of our city.

The coming years are bound to be full of more demanding challenges for Family Fork but the key thing we’ve taken from the last 12 months is that whatever unknown challenges are coming, as long as we do it together and with good humour we can rise to the challenge.

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